I just want to start by saying how much I truly am enjoying doing this Project 52 Photo Challenge. It’s nice to have someone or something push you to do more of what you love. Between work, chores, and basically adulting, I have lost sight of that from time to time.
This week’s prompt came at a not-so-good point in the week. I have depression and anxiety that I still struggle with from on and off even with taking medication. Last Friday, a bout of depression hit me. I knew that it was happening, but I tried distracting myself with things that bring me joy: friends, work, life.
I saw this old woman waiting to cross the same street as a group of my friends and I were. We were all chatting and laughing – basically having a great Friday in each other’s presence. When I looked over at this older woman with her walker, all alone, I became internally silent.
The wave of depression was starting – and seeing her all alone did NOT help.
I thought about this week’s prompt: Fleeting Moments. That sent another depressing thought through my brain: I don’t want to get old and not have moments of laughter with friends.
As I write this, I realize that that was part of a fleeting moment. Enjoying time with my friends and loving what life offered us at that moment. It just has taken a while for me to get over some sad thoughts about all the fleeting moments in life.
I went into this prompt looking for something to happen to me that would be something grand. When nothing happened, I got even more low.
But as this February brought a lovely heat wave to Louisville (60s-70s all week), I sat outside a lot with my cats.
Ansel is my first pet. Growing up, we always wanted a pet – mostly a dog. It just never happened for us. I have learned that owning a pet changes a lot of perspective about loving and caring for something that is living.
Yeah, call me a cat lady. I love Ansel though.
He has taught me many lessons. He loves being outside, but also fears being out there without me. He’ll cling to me if he feels afraid outdoors. He also will roll around on his back – making me smile. When I’m sad or down or sick, he’s right there to snuggle me and make me feel better. He’s also ALWAYS there snuggling even when I don’t want it. He will make me laugh out loud at home by myself when he runs around like a mad man. He knows when bed time is, when dinner is, and when he needs to hide from the vacuum.
Life’s fleeting moments are those that I feel most relaxed at home with him.
Sitting out on my porch this week helped put all of that into perspective.
I want to cherish the time I have with this crazy kid. Even though I have moments of not understanding his nonsense behavior (like eating all my hair-ties or cords to my blinds), I still love him unconditionally.
It is possible to love outside of people. And I have learned so much from enjoying the quiet moments.